Tributes to the Train Tribe

To that elderly man with a twang from Mississippi, who gave me cautious advice and the friendliest, sweetest, pat on the back; I swore it was from an unhuman source.

To Zach, the musician, I enjoyed the most pleasant concert- and your original song really was the best. More than all of that, (even attempting to teach me guitar plus your huge generosity), I especially appreciated your genuine honesty about thoughts on education in the lounge car.

To Grammy Bea, please don't ever apologize. Lots of times, I become visibily emotional during the most random situations. I am glad we were able to share that together; in addition to all of your 85ish years of knowledge. Right now, I am positive you are enjoying that time with your family. And, please, for your sake and for humanity's sake: don't be scared.

To Sean, my temporary protective, wine-giving buddy; I appreciate that you were so comfortable discussing your very private matters. I wish the best of luck to you- plus you really DO look 29! Be good.

To Jonathan, No, that will also not offend me. You see, I'm not that easily offended, and I do not think you are a person that could ever offend me. Thank you for giving me an epiphany about what I may want to do with part of my life. I'll give you my appreciation by not putting a segment of "your happiest moments" in the documentary. (Which by the way is going very slowly but I think very well).

To Lou, if I'm having a day where I doubt myself (which can be often), you are one of the few people I can remember where I felt the genuine drive for change coming from within. Those six hours of conversation we had really moved me.

To Jet, You were just what I needed. I was semi becoming a little bit anxious with the docu, and you were there to provide a refreshing, cheeky lift of humour. I met you when you were at a minor (or major, I'm not sure which) crossroad in your life. I'm thinkin bout ya.

To Marcia, the first person on my train journey to have confused/inspired/humoured/ and slightly startled me. Like Cody said, any person who walked (in the rain and in flipflops no less) on a freeway for many, many hours is insane and awesome. I truly hope you are still anchoring yourself, have no more denture issues, and are still a mango-tango kid.

To Wayne, for some reason I was so scared before I came over to talk to you. I just wasn't in the mood to try another interview. I was "done" for the day. Quite arguably, you were definitely one of my favorites (shh or my favorite) of the day. The best part was the lengthly conversation afterward, and me watching the start of you and Paula's friendship. I miss you.

To Paula, you are too awesome to be a mom, but I felt like you were mine. I honestly did not take for granted every time I got to talk to you. Thank you for the push/support.

To Gabe, more power to you, opening up and producing an ultimately spectacular interview. I wish I could've got to chat with you longer, but at least we are staying in touch.

To Jesse, AH I still have to email you back! I really did need someone to confide very personal things to, (instead of the usual other-way-around from doing my interviews). I was sad to see you go. Next time you visit family in Oregon, let me know.

To Jennifer, you still intrigue me. But hey, any person who has a majority of their luggage as books, and actually uses most of them during the trip is a great civilian. Your curiosity and open-mind should be something to never let go.

To Ben and Darlene, you gave me hope that sometimes, people can be passionately in love with each other forever, and ever, and ever, and for 50+ years. Not only that, you literally got off the train and went around trying to get people for me to interview. Dang, you get the "VERY SPECIAL THANKS" credit.

To that scary drunken man who yelled at me about his daughter, thank you for reminding me in a haunting way that children have to be 18 to sign any consent forms. And yes, I did delete that interview, all 3 seconds of it.

To Christian, my dinner, breakfast, lunch, photo-taking pal. I was lucky enough to meet/hang out in San Francisco as well as meet you for lunch/park outing in New York. Move West, ye ole' pioneer!

To Cody, I don't really know where to start. Let's start with Marcia. I knew you were cool when you were genuinely interested in what she had to say, and gave her all the respect in the world. I knew you were pretty amazing when you gave me all the respect in the world. Respecting what I wanted, what I don't want. What I needed and need. Being my partner in crime, zephyring it from California to Chicago.

To Barbara, you gave me chills so bad I had to literally dig my fingernails in my legs to create physical pain so I would not cry in front of you-the tough New York woman. (Chills in a good way, of course). During the first part of dinner, I felt like you were not wanting me near you. By the end, there were many moments of mutual love.

To Jose, basically my older brother. Thank you for going out with me in New Orleans, I was too scared to venture the Big Easy on my own. I also appreciate times when we yelled at each other, really showcasing our comfortability :) But, one of my favorite moments was that breakfast we shared on the train, you trying oatmeal for the first time and insisting I drink some of your orange juice. Reading segments of The Wall Street Journal, or USA Today ( I don't remember), having the sun in our eyes, not wanting to leave the Crescent after awhile.

Trip thus far

My train trip across the US of A has been quite the adventure. Everything that I did not expect to happen did, and those that I thought would, did not. I have six more days and am determined to make those as stupendous. (I highly doubt I can make those next six days better than my last five). I'll try! Here are some photos:

Eureka! Oh, well, I DID find it. I just lost it.

(I copied some of my journal in here, but kept some parts out).

So,
I decided first to write in this journal instead of type in my blog because these thoughts are more private.

What I mean by that is I feel like the universe has given me clues on how it works and it doesn't want me to spill them to the rest.
OR-----
The idea sounds so pathetic,
inconceivable,
and chaotic

that people will consider me mental
OR----
Sometimes people want to keep things to themselves. Especially when those things connect the others that are now public but wished were still secretive...I guess, you know, the always "mysterious" person is generally sexy as fuck.

AND____

adding:

1) Pretend you are driving, and all of a sudden you startle yourself because you find that you weren't paying attention-and you aren't in a wreck. SHOCKER. You are now where you need to be.

2) You are carefree, singing a song, coming into contact with a seemingly familiar human. Seconds later, the shock (of discovering the human you thought was alive is actually dead and in ghost form) never leaves your memory.

3) Personal relationships signify: YOU MULTIPLIED 1,000,000. But, maybe not. It could be: y o u d i v i d e d b y 1 , 0 0 0 , 0 0 0. Either way, a dent is formed. You could look at the dent from one side (X 1,000,000) and feel that you have created a bowl to collect rain - or from the other ( / 1 , 0 0 0 , 0 0 0 ) and know the dent repels water. water = what you want it to be.

4) You feel that your life is actually not continuous; no - sometimes you grow younger.

5) Somebody tells you their thoughts regarding life and death.

6) You go through an intensive panic which slows time, regarding dying and becoming a bland, touchless shade of darkening silence.

7) Yoga Class. Physical real strength. Birthing cells - producing sweat reminding yourself you are alive. Using your mind to appreciate this moment right now, swallowing those previous fears about dying; using them as nutrition to keep your current, impermanent dreams alive.

8) Oh yes, thanks Kirk. Nothing is permanent.

9) Remembering dreams that are always with you.

10) Not remembering them, but having them remember you.

AND

I could go on and on about those billions of supposed periods in my life where I only feel produced this not-so-sudden epiphany. I can't tell you what it is. Why the hell did you read all this shit in the first place?

How To Deal With Global Warming Deniers

Necessary for my health.

ummm 3 posts in one day? obsessive?

Well I just have to let the world know about my new addiction to Devendra Banhart. Especially his song, Baby. (The lyrics kill me).


Baby
I finally know what im going after
I'm learning to let in all the laughter
Holy Moley you´re so funny
You crack me up, you crack me up


Like some hog tied Kangaroos
You be one and I'll be one too
We can play it goofy or we can play it cool

Everything that happened
you know it don't mean a thing to us
cause so much is gonna happen
because

(these were just my favorite parts).

AHHH so refreshing. Now, I know I said earlier, "don't go make Devendra famous, god, please, spare him!" I just didn't exactly want a)him to become famous because personally, it would be a curse to be famous and b) for him to be a not-so-known treasure. Last night I was talking to someone who I admire about music and the mere fact that I stated my dislike for small bands to become famous really bothered him. He said something like, "you should share the music with everyone, everyone should hear it....and I know you probably don't want his music getting in the wrong hands but for everyone person who abuses it, there has to be at least one who loves it." And yes, I couldn't agree more. I love telling my friends about music I like- "what's your favorite song right now?" "do you know dr. dog? they're great!" "let me burn you a cd!" That is the usual talk between mi amigos y yo. And I should think of everyone as my friend.
Thanks Macabee.

Would You Rather?

I'd rather be a slave than an owner. I'd rather be a woman than a man. I'd rather be the murdered than the murderer. I'd rather have my heart broken than to break another's. I'd rather be lied to than to lie. I'd rather be strong than weak.

P.S. THIS DOES NOT REFLECT MY CURRENT STATE OF MIND. not really.

Marxist?

weird; I am in such a better mood after work! work=happiness... sometimes.

Just some talk

I said that I would update with a lovely, poetic collection of different passages from my journal soon. Well, the truth is I haven't written as much as I should. I feel embarrassed to even think about going back to my beautiful, italian made journal - (Laine gave it to me as a present) as I have not given it the attention it deserves.
The reasoning behind it: I feel so behind. Sometimes, I write with no due-dates; freely. Other times, (in the Laine-given journal), I write as if I am retelling the events of the day. It is kind of compulsive. If I don't finish that day, I leave blank space for it and go to the next day. It gets really chaotic. (HA! that word will always haunt me. chaos. you will find this out later).
So, yes. I am VERY behind. I am trying to write out the events that happened on...let's see.. May 30th? And then randomly the beginning of June? No, no, no, I got this all wrong. I needn't write in the past, I really need to start letting go of that minor OCD journaling. Because, guess what? I am going to always remember some things. They don't need to be written down.
Why should one write anyway?
A) To look back 50 years from now and think, "wow I was such a _______"
B) To release mental "toxins" so to speak
C) To be the next Anne Frank

Well, I know I need to write so I don't stay up at night thinking. Or, so I don't miss my exit on the freeway, and then THREE exits later realize it...all because I was so deep in thought. Yeah, I suppose option B is my choice. But hey, if you want to be a historical figure to yourself or to the general public, be my guest.

And lastly, I labeled this: Just some talk. It is sad that I am only writing AT the future reader, instead of communicating WITH. If I had any followers that would comment on it, that would be really cool. That's why I titled my blog, Q & Q with SS. But, just some talk; no knowledge gained per se. No facts learned. Just some talk that might have softly transitioned you from 12:20 to 12:30.


P.S.
Celebratory post: oil spill FIXED. (hopefully forever).

Oil Spills

I was reading an article in the Oregonian this morning regarding the 1999 oil spill in Oregon.

So, if there has been WELL over one hundred MILLION gallons of oil spilled in the Gulf......

On February 4th 1999, The New Carissa leaked 70,000 gallons of oil into Coos Bay, Oregon. This area happens to be the site of the richest oyster beds in the state. Oyster workers, such as the Clausens, were doing well, and in 1997 they raked in over 1 million in profit. Unfortunately, they lost 3.5 million oysters just in their 700 acre oyster beds...in the first few weeks alone.

Alright, so the Gulf BP spill is like the New Carissa spilling over one thousand five hundred times. (I did the math, so I could be wrong). That would be like over 5 billion oysters DEAD.

OH AND in another article... the gulf spill could be leaking as much as 4.2 million gallons...per DAY. (This is the worst case scenario..but let's be real).

This is so depressing, it seriously makes me not want to have children.